Bonike writes

Listening (AUDIO 1): 10mins, 46 sec

Listening (AUDIO 2): 6mins, 57sec

Reading time: 3 mins

OUTLINE

1. Introduction.

2. The pros and cons of having a role model / mentor.

3. You Should Have a Standard.

4. I don’t have a role model / mentor… so what?

INTRODUCTION

Before discussing the topic for today, I will highlight briefly, who a role model, and a mentor are, in the audio below:

👇👇👇
AUDIO 1

Having listened to that brief explanation, can it be said that having a role model or mentor, does not come with its pros and cons? Absolutely not!! This is why I will be highlighting below, two pros and two cons similar to both a role model and a mentor. They are:

PROS

1. POSITIVE IMPACT: A “good” role model or mentor either farmiliar or unfamiliar, can impact positively on their admirers (in the case of a role model), and mentees / protege( in the case of a mentor).

2. MOTIVATION: You are spurred into action to being a better version of yourself, or even in some cases, better than your role model or mentor.

CONS

Excessive admiration of a role model or a mentor, can sometimes result in an obsession with them, which could lead to a loss of identity of the admirer or the mentee. Also, role models and mentors are not perfect human beings, they are flawed and this could result in them exuding some bad habits, or negative traits, generally. In this light, two cons are briefly explained below:

1. Loss of identity: While imitating a role model, some people lose their identities. The tendency to directly imitate their role model’s hair styles, dressing, even walking steps, is very high. There is nothing bad in wanting to imitate your role model, but when it is extreme to the point of losing yourself, then it is bad.

2. Bad Habits: It is very easy to adopt a role model’s bad habits in the process. As a matter of fact, some people are obsessed with their role models, they do not realise when they are adopting their bad habits or even vices. Having said this, how can an admirer or a mentee avoid being at disadvantage? By having a Standard, ofcourse. Yes, a Standard.

YOU SHOULD HAVE A STANDARD

In order to avoid falling into this trap, it is imperative to have had a good standard before having a role model or mentor. Having a standard first cannot be over emphasised, because role models and mentors are human beings who are fallible, and what helps a mentee not to be at a disadvantage, when he/she notices an anormally, is his/her standard. It is best to just focus on the role model or mentor’s positive sides, and ignore the negative.
However, if the role model / mentor’s negatives are detrimental to the mentee’s health, life, career, or even reputation, it is best to quit that mentor-mentee relationship.
It is however noteworthy, that there are people who neither have a role model nor a mentor. This will be explained in the next sub topic.

I DO NOT HAVE A ROLE MODEL / MENTOR… SO WHAT??

Must everyone have a role model / a mentor? Definitely No!! Well, the audio you are about to listen to will explain why some people do not have a role /model or a mentor.

👇👇👇
AUDIO 2

In conclusion, role models and mentors have their different roles to play in the lives of people who look up to them.
Having a “good” standard before looking up to a role model or a mentor, is essential. This will help in being on track, or knowing when to quit the relationship, when certain things are at stake.
Finally, not everyone has or sees the need to have a role model or a mentor, at least at the moment, and guess what?? It is totally fine!!

Thank you for listening and reading. Please DON’T forget to follow, Express your views in the comment box, and share with your friends. Thank you.

BONIKE WRITES..

The phrase above, is familiar to almost everyone. Life’s challenges seems not to have eluded anyone, because it is not a respecter of your societal status, age, gender, bank account, etc. Obviously, people have had life’s challenges in different degrees or magnitude, such as:

– Academic challenges .

– Lack of the basic life’s needs ( food, clothing, shelter).

– Loss of a loved one.

– Self esteem issues.

– Addiction.

– Health challenges.

– Psychological/emotional issues.

Why then do some people tell you that you have not seen life yet, like them? Check out these 3 reasons:

1. APPEARANCE: Some people do not look like what they have been through. You appear like you have it all put together, and people make assumptions, based on that, : “oh this one has everything in place for him/her. Well, that is because you have gone through your own dark clouds, and now you have your silver lining. Somehow, you seem not to look like it, on the outside. You might even be able to write a book, based on your past challenges alone. Wow!!!

2. QUANTIFYING CHALLENGES : Some people might have had so many challenges, that they have even lost track of counting. Let’s assume you share yours with such people, and you have had only 10 major challenges so far ( just an example) : you will be told “you have not seen life yet, your own is even small”. Lool.

This is because they have quantified it. Challenges cannot be quantified. The feeling the person with 10 challenges had, may be similar to, or even exceed the one who had countless challenges. Do you even know that what some 18 year olds have faced in this life, some 30 year olds have not faced it?

Do you also know that pain is pain, no matter how it came..– for instance: one who lost his car, and one who lost his house to flood, have both felt the pain of loss. There is no need measuring the degree of pain to either of them.

3. A RAY OF HOPE : In as much as some people have gone through their dark clouds, and now have a silver lining , some people are still going through their own turbulence. Guess what?? They are hopeful, so they do not also look like their turbulence.

On a final note, it is very wrong to belittle one another’s story/life’s challenge. If you can walk in the consciousness of knowing that, your friend, colleague, family member etc, has at one point in their lives had their fair share of life, assumptions will be minimal, or even non- existent.

Please comment if you have been in such situations where people assume you have it all put together..

Bonike writes…

Bonike writes

I DO NOT HAVE A ROLE MODEL OR MENTOR….SO WHAT??

“YOU HAVE NOT SEEN LIFE, YOUR OWN IS EVEN SMALL”….Really???